The Village of the Golden Carrot
by MysteryMoonbeam
Summary: Thanks to MaplepawTheNerd for the ideas for this fic. When Steve's pig, Porkchop, disappears one day, Steve doesn't think anything of it... until he discovers the Emerald Village, also known as the Village of the Golden Carrot. It's not the village Steve finds strange; it's the ruler of the village... King Tocino, better known as Porkchop!
1. Porkchop

**First of all, I want to thank MaplepawTheNerd/Enilorac for the idea for this fic! Have a cookie! :D *gives cookie***  
**Second, the villagers in this story will not look like caveman Squidwards. Yay. :D  
Rated T for some swearing.**  
**Enjoy! :3**

* * *

CHAPTER 1 - Porkchop

I don't know how it happened. One day he was there, the next he was gone. The gate to his pen had been reduced to splinters and his saddle was lying on the grass several meters from my cabin. I didn't think anything of it. I mean, how hard could it be to get another pig? But that wasn't the problem. The problem was him, where he had gone, and what he was planning, though I didn't know it at the time.

Like I said, I thought nothing of it and went about my day as usual. A few days later I started planning a camping trip in a far away forest with my dog, Thunder, and got busy packing my stuff. I had to make sure I had everything necassary for the trip, for it would be a long one.

Tent? Check. Map? Check. Food? Check. Tools? Check. Armor? Check. Finally, I packed my sword. It was my best one; diamond, with looting, smite, knockback and fire aspect enchantments. No mob can defeat me with a sword like that.

As the sun set I climbed into bed, looking forward to the day ahead of me.

-x-

I was woken at dawn by Thunder barking and jumping up and down on my bed.

"Woof! Woof!"

"Alright, alright, I'm getting up," I mumbled, pushing my dog out of my face. I rubbed my tired eyes and stumbled into the kitchen to get some breakfast. As I munched on my apple, struggling to stay awake, I remembered my plans for the day.

"Oh, that's right," I said to Thunder. "We're leaving to go on that camping trip today, aren't we, boy?"

Thunder barked excitedly, wagging his tail. I laughed.

"I guess you're looking forward to it, huh?" I stood up and went back into my bedroom to get my backpack. "Come on, then. We'd better get going."

"Woof!"

-x-

It was a very long journey. After hours of travelling, Thunder and I needed to find a good spot to set up our tent for the night and have something to eat. I took my map out of my pocket and saw a strange cluster of grey and brown dots east of where I was standing. I knew instantly what it was and breathed a sigh of relief. We would be able to rest at last very soon.

"This way, Thunder. There's a village over here."

"Woof." Even Thunder was tired.

I hoped the villagers would be friendly. Before long we came across a sign that read 'Emerald Village, 1 mile'. Thank goodness for that.

Little did I know that this was going to be more than just a simple camping trip.

-x-

It took what felt like an eternity to finally arrive at the village. The sun was setting, my feet were aching, my backpack seemed to weigh a ton, and Thunder was starting to get on my nerves, barking and barking until I thought his jaw would fall off if he barked any more.

As I slowly wandered through the village, I saw several pairs of eyes watching me closely. I was gazing hungrily at a farm growing carrots when I spotted someone approaching me out of the corner of my eye. He had scruffy white hair and wore a brown tunic, dark red trousers, black shoes, gold shoulder pads and a silver sash. When he was standing right in front of me I noticed he had green eyes and his tunic, for some reason, had an image of a gold carrot on the front. I also noticed the serious look on his face.

"I hope you don't intend to steal any of those carrots," he said sternly. "Our king would be quite angry with you if you did."

_Well, I'm off to a great start_, I thought. _I'm already being accused of trying to steal carrots. What a great welcome._

"I have my own food," I responded coldly, glaring. He glared back. "I don't want your carrots."

There was silence for a few seconds. Then, he asked, "What business do you have here?"

"I'm on a camping trip, heading for the forest north of here," I explained. "I was hoping I could find somewhere to stay for the night."

"Then you will have to ask our king. Come with me."

I followed him to a tall tower of cobblestone. Standing guard outside were two... well, guards. They were wearing similar outfits to the man I was following, including the gold carrot tunic. I noticed a sign on the wall of the tower.

_Emerald Village Laws_  
_1. The eating of porkchops is forbidden._  
_2. All farms should grow carrots and only carrots._  
_3. Saddles should not be used to ride pigs._

I couldn't help thinking that these laws were very strange.

"This man would like to speak to our king," Carrot Tunic told the guards. "He wishes to stay the night in our village."

"You may pass," said one of the guards immediately. Carrot Tunic opened the iron door and led me inside. He stopped abruptly and turned around to face me.

"On no account," he said, "should you be discourteous to King Tocino. Understand?"

_Tocino?_ I thought. _What kind of name is that? _I didn't say that, of course. Instead, I said, "I understand."

Carrot Tunic gave a nod of approval and called, "Your Majesty! An outsider wishes to speak to you!"

A few seconds later, I heard sounds coming from above our heads. I watched the ladder to our right, waiting for someone to come down. Eventually, the king made his way down the ladder, accompanied by two more guards in iron armor. He wore a gold crown and a red cloak lined with white fur. I stared, stunned. The king wasn't a human. The king was an animal. A pig.

Porkchop.


	2. The Pig Prophecy

CHAPTER 2 - The Pig Prophecy

"P-Porkchop?" I spluttered. Were they serious?! My own pig, Porkchop, king of Emerald Village?!

The two guards and Carrot Tunic brandished their swords and pointed them barely a centimeter from my face. I didn't dare to even breathe.

"How dare you insult the king!" Carrot Tunic said fiercely. Thunder began to bark wildly and another guard grabbed him by the collar. C.T. turned to the pig. "I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty. Should we escort him out of the village or have him executed?"

_Wow. That seems a bit harsh._

"Lower your swords and put the dog down," the king ordered. The guards reluctantly obeyed. My jaw practically hit the floor. He could talk. Porkchop could somehow talk, and with a Spanish accent too. "This outsider is an old friend of mine." He said 'friend' as if it meant 'dog poop' and gave me a false smile. "Don't you remember me, Steve?"

I mumbled something unintelligible and very rude.

"Speak up!" Carrot Tunic hissed.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I remember you," I said through gritted teeth. I didn't _want _to remember him.

"And this must be Thunder?"

Thunder growled.

"How wonderful! Now, what was it you wanted, Steve?"

"Nothing, Your Majesty," I lied.

"Nonsense," said Carrot Tunic. "You wanted somewhere to stay for the night."  
_  
Thanks a lot._

"Is that all?" Porkchop laughed. "Of course you can stay the night. Casper!"

Carrot Tunic stepped forward. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Take our guest to the old house next to the library."

"Yes, Your Majesty." He poked me hard in the back. "Follow me."

I glared at him, but followed him to the house next to the library. It was small and contained only a bed and a chest but it would do for the night. I set my backpack down on the bed.

"When do you plan to continue your journey?" Casper asked. He probably couldn't wait to be rid of me.

"I'll probably be on my way after breakfast tomorrow."

"Very well. Go to sleep soon and don't go outside after the sun sets, lest you become zombie food or an enderman's punching bag."  
_  
Ha ha. Very funny. I'm not an idiot, you know._

He then closed the door and left Thunder and I by ourselves. We were just about to eat our dinner(baked potatoes, since we apparently can't eat the porkchops we took with us) when there was a knock at the door. I opened the door to see a lilac-haired girl with a plate of cookies. Her eyes were amber and she wore a pink shirt, a purple skirt and red high heels. She looked friendly.

"I heard there was a visitor in the village, so I thought I'd bring you some cookies." The girl smiled and held out the plate. I took a cookie. It was still warm and was full of chocolate chips. I took a bite. It was sweet and crunchy.

"Thanks," I said, taking another bite. "These are delicious."

"I'm glad you like them." She smiled again. "I'm Fliss, by the way."

"Fliss?"

"It's short for Felicity."

"I'm Steve."

"Nice to meet you." She paused, peering around. "Will you be alright in this old hut for the night? It's a little small."

"I'll be fine. Does the king put all the guests here?"

Fliss nodded. "I heard some yelling from the tower. Was everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything was fine," I said sarcastically, finishing my cookie. "I only got three swords thrust in my face. It was great."

Fliss laughed. "I heard Casper shouting."

"You mean Carrot Tunic?"

She laughed even more. "You're so funny!"

"Why do all the guards wear those carrot tunics, anyway?"

"Don't you know? Emerald Village is known as the Village of the Golden Carrot."

"That explains a lot. Why is it called that?"

"The prophecy. Hundreds of years ago it was foreseen that a legendary pig with a golden carrot would stumble upon our humble village. Last week, the prophecy came true and the pig became our king."

"Where did he get the carrot?"

She shrugged. "Nobody knows."

"Do you know... where the pig came from?"

"Rumor has it he was a simple farm pig who escaped one day, looking for adventure, but what he's _really _looking for is-" She stopped.

"Yes? Go on."

Fliss went bright red. "Adventure. He's really looking for adventure," she said quickly.

"'He escaped looking for adventure, but what he's really looking for is adventure?' That doesn't quite make sense." I could tell she was hiding something from me and I wanted to know what it was, especially since it was about Porkchop. "Tell me what you know, Fliss."

"I don't know anything," she insisted. "Well, Steve, it's been nice meeting you but I have to go home now, it's getting late. Goodnight." She turned and ran back to the library next door, slamming to door behind her. I watched her with curiosity.

What was it that Fliss knew about Porkchop? I decided I was going to get it out of her, one way or another.


	3. Questions and Answers

CHAPTER 3 - Questions and Answers

After breakfast the next morning I didn't leave the village. Instead, I went straight to the library and knocked on the door. And waited. It didn't take too long before Fliss answered.

"Good morning, Steve." She smiled warmly and opened the door further. "Would you like to come in?"

"Thanks." I entered the library and had a look around. Bookshelves sat above a sofa and table next to a chest. I had a peek inside out of curiousity. It was, unsurprisingly, full of books.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Fliss asked. "I'm about to make mine. Do you want some mushroom stew?"

"No thanks. I actually came to ask you something."

"What is it?" Fliss started chopping mushrooms on a crafting table. I sat down on the sofa and decided to just tell her outright.

"I want to know what you tried to hide from me yesterday."

Fliss suddenly stopped chopping. Then she giggled shakily. "You're a persistent one, aren't you?"

"I only want to help, Fliss. It's obviously something worrying you're hiding."

She sighed and continued chopping the mushrooms slowly. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's about the king. It's something I shouldn't know."

"Which is?"

"Stop it, Steve."

"Let me start for you. He was a simple farm pig who escaped one day, looking for adventure, but what he's _really_ looking for is...?"

Fliss sighed again. She took a deep breath and looked me dead in the eyes. "What he's really looking for is world domination."

There was an awkward silence. I didn't know whether to believe her or not. I mean, world domination sounded like the goal of a cartoon villain, not a royal pig.

"How do you know this?" I asked her as she pushed the chopped up mushrooms off the table into a bowl with her knife.

"I overheard him talking to one of his guards one day. I only heard a little before I ran away."

"What did you hear?" I was beginning to feel like a detective interrogating a witness to a crime.

"I can't forget what I heard the king say that day. 'The golden carrot is key to my plans for world domination.' Those were his exact words."

"And why did you run away?"

"Because if anyone were to find out that I know this, the king will have me executed." She gave me a pleading look. "Please, Steve. Promise me you won't tell another soul what I just told you."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"Promise. On one condition."

Fliss looked worried. "What's that?"

"That we make a plan to destroy the golden carrot without getting caught."

She gasped. "Why?"

"You said the carrot is key to his plans. No carrot means no world domination."

"That's true... but why do you want to stop him? He couldn't really take over the world, could he?"

"I'd rather not take any chances."

There was a sudden knock at the door that startled both of us.

"I'll get it." Fliss hurried to the door. It was Casper with a book tucked under his arm. He looked strangely happy, considering his grumpy attitude yesterday.

"Good morning, Fliss." He held out the book. "I'm here to return this book to you."

She took the book and smiled. "Thanks, Casper. Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, I did. Do you mind if I borrow another one?" He entered the library and spotted me. He stared. I stared back."You're... Steve, am I right? I thought you planned to leave this morning?"

I shrugged. "I thought I'd stay a little longer."

"May I ask why?"

Fliss looked at me, silently begging me not to give away her secret.

"This is a nice little village you've got here. I wanted to have a look around, meet the villagers... you know. That kind of stuff."

"Hm. Alright, then." Casper began to browse the bookshelves. It looked like Fliss and I would have to make plans later. I gave her an apologetic look.

"I guess I'll see you later, Fliss."

"OK. Bye, Steve." She smiled again. Fliss seemed a very smiley sort of person.

I left her alone with Carrot Tunic(poor Fliss). I decided to go to the tower and have a word with King Bacon-Brains. Surprisingly, there were no guards outside the tower today. Maybe they were having breakfast? The lack of guards meant I could simply stroll into the tower. The place seemed deserted. I listened hard but I couldn't hear any sound.

"Hello?" I called. My voice echoed through the tower. A dozen Steves said 'hello' back. "Is anyone there?"

There was a sudden stirring from upstairs and, once again, the king came down the ladder accompanied by two guards. Porkchop stood in front of me with a guard either side of him.

"We meet again, Steve," he said. "Are you leaving now? Have you come to say goodbye to your old amigo, Porkchop?"

"Not quite. Your Majesty, may I speak to you alone?"

"Certainly not!" said the guard on the right.

"Now, now," said Porkchop. "Don't be hasty. If Steve wants to speak to me alone, then I say let him. Go outside and stand guard, you two."

The guards hesitated.

"Must I repeat myself?" said the king sternly. The guards did as they were told before he became angry. Porkchop and I were left alone. "So, Steve. What was it you wanted?"

I wanted to know all about his plans for world domination, but I was hardly going to ask him that. Instead, I asked, "How did you escape?"

Porkchop's expression darkened. "I do not take well to being treated like a mere pig."

"But you_ are_ a pig."

"I am a king!" He stamped his trotter on the ground angrily, startling me. "I am a pig no more and I refuse to be treated like one! You shall have to find another pig to ride! Do you think I _liked_ carting you around? Of course not! You weighed so much I was beginning to think I had an iron golem on my back, not to mention the discomfort of that ridiculous saddle."

_Iron golem? _I thought._ So now I'm fat?_

"And why did you insist on waving that moldy carrot in my face every time you rode me?"

"I thought pigs liked carrots."

"Yes, carrots! _Not_ week old leftovers! Thankfully, now that I'm a king, I don't have to eat your swill any more."

I decided to change the subject. "How did you become the village's king?"

"Have you not heard the Golden Carrot prophecy?"

"No. What is it?" I wanted to hear his version of the tale to see if it was any different from what Fliss told me.

"Many, many years ago," he began, "a fortune teller predicted that someday a pig would find its way to Emerald Village. A legendary pig with a legendary carrot. A golden carrot."

"Where did you get the carrot?" I interrupted.

"That is none of your business."

"OK, then... what do you plan to do as king?"

"Enough questions. Please be so kind as to leave me be so I can finish my breakfast."

"But-"

"Do I have to summon my guards?" Porkchop gave me an icy glare that sent a shiver down my spine. I decided to do as he said before he got suspicious. On the way out I bumped into Casper.

"What were you doing in there?" he demanded.

"Shoving carrots up my nose," I snapped sarcastically. He was starting to get on my nerves. "What do you think?"

Carrot Tunic watched me storm off with a horrified look on his face. I wonder if he actually took me seriously. To be honest I didn't really care. There was only one thing I cared about at that moment, and that was finding out about that golden carrot, where it came from, and how Porkchop could use it to take over the world.


	4. Making Plans at Midnight

CHAPTER 4 - Making Plans at Midnight

I tried to go back to the library later that day to discuss things with Fliss, but people kept interrupting us to borrow books and return books and all that library kind of stuff. We decided to meet on top of the lookout tower that night after everyone had gone to bed.

I arrived first. As I waited for Fliss I gazed up into the moonlit night sky. The stars danced in perfect harmony, twinkling like glitter. I noticed that there was a full moon, big and bright. That would explain why Thunder had been so restless before I went out.

I was pulled out of my daydream by the sound of footsteps on the ladder.

"Hi, Fliss."

"Hi, Steve." She pulled herself up onto the roof of the tower. "Why are you whispering?"

"So we don't wake anyone up."

"Oh, right. Good idea. Speaking of ideas, have you thought of any good plans yet? All mine are rubbish."

"Not yet, but I went to speak to the king this morning."

"What did he say?"

"Well, when I asked him where the carrot came from, he refused to tell me."

"He refuses to tell _anyone_."

"Exactly. Don't you think that's a bit suspicious?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

"He also kicked me out when I asked what he plans to do as king."

"That's not surprising. He probably got suspicious after you asked about the carrot."

"Do you know where he keeps the carrot?"

Fliss shook her head. "Sorry, I don't. Even if I did, how would we sneak into the tower? That place is always guarded."

"It wasn't this morning."

"Really? That's strange. Do you think that was deliberate?"

"I doubt it. We can only hope that it happens again so we can carry out our plan." I paused. "Well, when we actually_ have_a plan."

"Easy," said Fliss. "We sneak into the tower, find the carrot and get out."

"We have to destroy it too, and without getting caught."

"Duh. Of course without getting caught. But suppose the carrot is solid gold? How are we going to destroy it?"

"Um... TNT?"

"That'd leave a huge hole in the ground."

"True, but that's all I could come up with." I sighed. "This is gonna be harder than we thought."

Fliss and I thought hard for a few minutes, considering all the possibilities. We thought about burying the carrot, but there was no guaranteeing that Porkchop didn't have a metal detector. We suggested burning the carrot, but it would just melt everywhere. We had a feeling the carrot wouldn't be edible either, so eating it or feeding it to another pig wasn't an option.

"It's no use." Fliss sat down on the wall, fed up. "Maybe we should just call it a night and go home."

"No, I won't give up that eas-"

"Shh!"

I was stunned. "Don't shush me!"

"Sorry, but I think I hear something."

I listened closely. Fliss was right; I could hear the sound of footsteps crunching on the gravel path. Curious, I peered over the wall, thinking it was just an animal of some kind.

"What is it?" asked Fliss. "Is it a monster?"

"Close," I laughed.

A certain man in a carrot tunic made his way up the ladder and started bossing us around like he owned the place.

"What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night! Do you _want _to be killed?"

"Nothing can attack us up here," I pointed out.

"What about skeletons? Didn't think of that one, did you, smart ass?" He tapped my head hard with his forefinger and I swatted it away, irritated. Then he turned to Fliss. Surprisingly, he was a lot more gentle with her. I guessed it was because she's a girl. "Fliss, you should go home now. I know you like to go for walks around the village but it's dangerous out here at night. There could be monsters lurking in the most unexpected places."

Fliss nodded. "I understand, Casper." She looked at me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Steve." With that, she climbed down the ladder and skipped back to the library as quickly as she could. Casper and I watched until she disappeared behind the door.

Casper and I were alone.

"Well? Why are you still here? Go home at once," he ordered.

"No, I like it up here." I leaned on the wall and gazed over the village. "I think I'll stay."

"I think you're forgetting who's in charge here," he said firmly. I could tell he was trying not to lose his temper and I was enjoying every second of it. "Go on. Beat it."

"You can't make me." Childish, yes, but who cares?

I heard a familiar sound behind me. The sound of a sword being pointed in my face. I didn't even bother to turn around, acting like I couldn't care less.

"Do it," I said.

"Do what?"

"Kill me. Slice my head off with that sword of yours." I turned my head and nearly got my nose sliced off. The sword was even closer than I thought. I flinched, but I still played 'Mr Cool', just to piss off Casper. He was already trembling with rage, his eyes like daggers. "It must be a good sword. After all, you keep waving it in everyone's faces."

"Not everyone. Only little brats like you who won't do as they're told," he hissed through gritted teeth.

_This guy's got some serious anger problems._

"So kill me," I repeated. "If I'm getting on your nerves that much, just kill me."

I saw him hesitate. I kept a firm gaze on his eyes, my expression blank. Finally, he replaced the sword in the scabbard on his back. "I could never kill another man."

"Wow, someone's being sexist tonight. First you go easy on Fliss because she's a girl, and now you're saying you couldn't kill another _man_?"

"You know exactly what I meant. Man or woman." Of course I knew what he meant, but seeing him get mad was too much fun.

"Then why do you seem to hate me so much? You were a lot kinder to Fliss than me."

"Fliss isn't an obnoxious fool. Besides, why have you been spending so much time with Fliss? Are you dating?"

"What? Don't be silly. Why are you asking? Are you jealous?" I meant it as a joke but I could just about see Casper's face turning red in the dark. My eyes widened in surprise. "You like her, don't you?"

Casper went even redder. He couldn't look me in the eye. "Th-That's absurd! She's a friend and nothing more."

"Really, Casper?" I shook my head, grinning. "You couldn't be more obvious if you tried."

Casper scowled. "If you dare tell anyone I'll have you executed."

"You're secret's safe with me," I promised. This was brilliant! I had his secret and I could use it against him in any way I wanted. Which meant... could I use it to get the carrot? I would have to be careful, especially since he said he'll have me executed if I told anyone else, but it wasn't impossible.

Golden carrot, here I come.


	5. One Down, One to Go

**Ladies, gentlemen, and genderless robots! Here is the long long LONG overdue fifth chapter! Sorry I haven't updated for ages... I don't really have a good excuse. X3**  
**Enjoy! :D**

CHAPTER 5 - One Down, One to Go

"Mornin', Fliss."

"Good morning, Steve. You seem cheery today."

"Oh, it's nothing much." I sat down on the sofa. Fliss sat down beside me. "It's just that Casper agreed to show me where the golden carrot is."

Fliss' expression became a mixture of confusion and surprise. "Has he really?"

"Of course he has." I grinned. "He just doesn't know it yet."

"Uh oh. What did you do?"

"Nothing. But I'm gonna blackmail him into giving us the carrot."

"Steve, that's awful! You can't do that!"

"Of course I can. I've got his biggest secret."

"You have? When? How?"

"Last night at the lookout tower. He tried to deny it but let's just say he's a terrible actor."

"Are you gonna tell me what this big secret is?"

"Oh, that reminds me. He also said he'll have me executed if I tell anyone else."

Fliss looked disappointed. "So you're not gonna tell me?"

I chuckled. "Do you really think I'd listen to old Carrot Tunic? Of course I'm gonna tell you."

Her face lit up and she clapped her hands excitedly. "Tell me, Steve! Tell me!"

"Well, it involves you."

Her smile faded. "He hasn't found out, has he? That I know about the king's plans?" she whispered.

"No, no, nothing like that. Nobody knows that but you and I. This is far better."

"Then tell me already!"

I didn't know how to say it so I just told her outright. "Casper has a crush on you."

There was a long silence. Then she said, "You're not serious, are you?"

"Yep. It's as true as the nose on your face." I gave her nose a playful tweak. She blinked in surprise. "It doesn't bother you, does it?"

"No, no, I-"

Knock knock.

"Just a second, Steve." Fliss stood up to answer the door. And what a surprise; it was Casper.

"Hey there, Casper-nova." I laughed at my own joke, even though it was pretty bad. Fliss giggled, but Casper glared.

"Are you here to return a book, Casper?" asked Fliss.

"No, actually. I came here looking for Steve." He turned to me. "The king would like to see you in the village square right away."

Fliss and I exchanged confused glances as we followed Carrot Tunic the the village square. A crowd of guards was waiting, and guess who was in the middle of them all?

"Ah, Steve," said King Salami-Skin. "I'm so glad you could make it."

_As if I had a choice!_

"What did you want me for?" I asked.

"Nothing much. I just wanted to ask you a few questions."

"Like what?" I said suspiciously.

"Like 'where are you going?'"

"Where am I going? Why do you want to know that?"

"And 'what do you know about our village?'"

"Wh-What?!"

"And 'why are you so interested in the golden carrot?'" The king began to raise his voice. "I'm on to you, Steve. I know why you're here and if you don't leave now then I shall be forced to take action!"

"You're on to _me_? I'm on to _you_, Miss Piggy! I'm not going anywhere!"

"Then so be it. Guards!"

Casper was the one to answer the king's call. He pulled out the sword from the sheath on his back and faced me, ready to attack. "Well? Are you going to fight? Or are you going to run?"

He didn't need to ask twice. Before he had even finished his sentence I lunged at him, sword outstreched. He leapt out of the way and swung his sword back at me, but I blocked the blow with my own. Our swords collided with a loud clang. We both took a step back, glaring at each other, clutching our swords. We both waited for the other to make the next move. Casper's temper got the better of him eventually and he dashed towards me. I swung my sword forcefully into his, knocking it flying out of his grip. I advanced towards the now defenceless Casper until I had him with his back against a wall. He cowered like a little kitten as I lifted my sword high, ready to strike.

"Put the sword down!" a voice yelled behind me. I turned around. A guard was holding Fliss tightly, his sword's blade pressed against her neck. Fliss looked terrified, her amber eyes wide with fear. "Drop your sword or the girl gets it with mine."

I hesitated.

"I said drop the sword!"

"Hold on," said Casper. "That's going a little too far. Let her go."

"Who's side are you on, Cas?"

"I won't let you kill an innocent girl. Especially not Fliss."

"Please don't kill me," Fliss whispered, tears running down her cheeks.

"I'll let her go if Steve drops his sword," said the guard.

Casper faced me and glared. "For crying out loud, Steve! Drop the sword!"

I did as I was told, the sword landing on the ground with a clang. Fliss was released from the guard's grasp, gasping for air.

"Are you alright, Fliss?" asked a concerned Casper. Fliss nodded slowly, seemingly unable to speak. Then, suddenly, she collapsed to the ground.

"Fliss!" I cried, dropping to my knees beside her. "Fliss, what's wrong?!"

"She likely fainted out of fear," said Casper. "We should take her home."

But as he spoke, blood began to pool around Fliss' head. I examined her more closely. There was a deep, crimson scar running across her throat. The guard had killed her. I glared at him.

"What?" he snapped.

"You're a murderer!" I cried.

"Murderer?" Casper repeated. "You mean she's...?"

"Fliss is dead, Casper."

For the first time since I met him, Casper looked truly sorrowful. He didn't seem angry in the slightest.

Silence filled the village. I stared down at poor Fliss. Her tears glistened on her face. She looked so sad, yet so peaceful.

The silence was broken by a familiar chuckle that came from behind us. I looked over my shoulder to see King Tocino approaching us, an evil glimmer in his eyes.

"Well done, guards," he said. "That's one down, one to go."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Poor Felicity knew too much and had to be executed." He shook his head sadly. "Such a shame. She was a lovely girl."

I stood up, clutching my sword. "How did you know that Fliss...?"

He chuckled again. "The less you know, Steve, the better."

"YOU BASTARD!" Casper screamed, rushing at the pig and lashing out with his sword. Two other guards grabbed him by his arms and restrained him, but the sword still hit the king on the side of his face, leaving a bleeding red mark on his cheek. Casper was kicking and screaming like a toddler having a tantrum.

"He appears to have taken leave of his senses," said the king angrily, rubbing his injured cheek. He looked shocked when he found blood on his trotter. "Execute him immediately!"

The guards tried to slash their swords through Casper's neck, but he wriggled out of their grasp and ran away. He fled the village, running and running until he was out of sight. The guards began to give chase but Porkchop stopped them.

"Leave him," the king ordered. "I shall let him off this time, but if he returns to the village we will show no mercy and execute him."

_Why is this starting to sound a little like Romeo and Juliet?!_

"Yes, Your Majesty," the guards chorused, and with that they escorted Tocino back to the tower. He watched me closely as he was led away. I knew that I was next.

When he disappeared around the corner I kneeled beside Fliss again. That night, after everyone in the village was asleep, I took out my shovel and dug a hole near the library and placed a large chest inside it sideways. I gently laid Fliss inside the chest. She looked so peaceful it brought tears to my eyes. As I closed the chest and refilled the hole, I felt I should say something as a 'goodbye' to her.

"Fliss," I began, whispering, "I've never been good at speeches and stuff like that, so I'm sorry if this sounds silly. In the short time I knew you, you were a great friend to me. You were a great friend to everyone in the village. You were kind, always cheerful, and brought a smile to everyone's faces. I'm sorry you had to go like this and that I couldn't save you. You'll always be in our thoughts, Fliss. Wherever you are right now, I hope you're happy."

I shovelled the last bit of dirt into the hole and patted it gently. I sighed, and with that I went back inside my little house and tried to get some sleep. First thing tomorrow morning, I was going to leave the village, go home and forget this ever happened. Some camping trip this turned out to be.


	6. Map to the Underground

CHAPTER 6 - Map to the Underground

I was woken in the middle of the night by a knocking at the door. I managed to drag myself to the door to see who it could be at this time of night.

"Casper?"

"Shh! Not so loud!" He looked around to make sure nobody was watching. "May I come in?"

"Sure."

Casper quickly entered my small house. It was a little cramped now but I tried not to mind too much. Thunder began to bark wildly at the sight of this stranger.

"Shh, Thunder! Shh! That's it, good boy." Then I turned to Casper. "Why did you come back?" I asked. "The king says that if you return to the village you'll be executed."

"I won't let Tocino get away with killing Fliss. I have a plan, but I need some help. Will you help me, Steve?"

"That depends. What's the plan?"

"I want to kill Tocino."

"Then you're on your own."

"Steve, please. Hear me out. Don't you know what the king plans to do with his gold carrot?"

"I know, world domination." I paused. "Wait a minute. You knew about this?!"

"All the king's guards know. How did _you_ know?"

"Fliss told me."

"Is... is that why you spent so much time with her?"

I nodded. Casper shook his head in disbelief.

"I had no idea. I thought... Steve, I'm... I'm..." He stopped. Then he faced the ground and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Though next time try apologizing to my face and not my feet." I smiled and patted him on the back. "No hard feelings, right?" He gave a small smirk. I took that as a 'yes'.

"S-Steve... I know where the carrot is."

I gave a little gasp. "Y-You do?! Tell me!"

He shook his head, hands behind his back, his smirk becoming a grin. "I can't. You said I'm on my own."

"Alright, I'm in. Now tell me where the carrot is!"

Casper chuckled. "It's not in the king's tower."

"Why not?"

"That would be too obvious a place to keep the carrot."

"Then where is it?"

"I'll give you three guesses."

I groaned. I guessed this was payback for the night at the lookout tower. "Is it at the blacksmith?"

"Wrong."

"In the well?"

"Try again."

"The library?"

"Nope, and that's your last guess. Sorry, Steve."

"Oh, for crying out loud, just tell me."

He laughed. "Very well, I'll tell you. It's in an underground chamber."

I stared at him. "Are you serious?"

"Do you not believe me?" His light, jokey expression suddenly turned dark and cold.

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I believe you," I said quickly. "So, uh, where is this underground chamber?"

"It's not in the village, but that's all I know."

"Oh. That's helpful."

"The king has a map to the chamber, however," he added. "It's in a heavily locked chest, and even if we do locate the chamber I have no idea how we're going to reach it. I've heard it's _very_ deep underground."

"I'm a miner," I told him, reaching into my chest and lifting out my iron pickaxe. "I could get us there."

Casper's face lit up. "Perfect! Now all we have to do is get our hands on that map. Come on."

The two of us sneaked outside. Casper turned to me and said, "Follow my lead. If anyone sees us, I'm taking you to see the king for attempted potato growing."

I gave a snort of laughter.

"I'm serious!" he hissed. "Now, follow me."

We crept past the library, past the well, past the blacksmith - and ran into a guard.

"What are you doing out so late, Casper?" the guard inquired.

"This man," he said, gesturing to me, "was caught attempting to grow potatoes in our carrot farms. I am taking him to see the king for punishment."

I tried hard not to laugh.

"Very well," said the guard. "But be wary of monsters."

"I will."

We continued along the path to the tower. When we arrived I noticed there were no guards outside.

"Where are the guards?" I whispered to Casper.

"Asleep, probably." He looked left, then right, then left again. "Quickly, inside. Try not to make too much noise. The king will be asleep too."

"Got it."

He carefully eased the door open and slipped inside the tower, closely followed by me. Casper beckoned me to the king's throne. I did as I was told. Slowly, he took hold of the throne's seat and lifted it up. Underneath the seat was a small chest absolutely _coated_ in chains. A single small padlock lay on top of all the chains.

Casper turned to me and made a motion with his hands that I thought looked very rude. Then I realized he was making an unlocking gesture, trying to tell me we needed the key. I nodded, and he beckoned me to follow him. He led me to the ladder that would take us to the king's room. Casper put a finger to his lips and gave me a cold look as if I had spoken. Honestly, he might as well have said 'shut up'. He began to carefully climb the ladder and I followed after him, feeling my heart beat faster the higher I climbed. My hands were trembling so much I had to be extra careful to get a good grip on the ladder.

Finally, we were in the king's room. We stood there in the dim light from single piece of glowstone that hung from the ceiling. Casper began silently searching the shelves. I decided to check the chest in the corner. Peeking inside, I saw nothing but carrots. I emptied the chest one by one, but there was no key to be found. I even lifted the chest up and looked underneath it, but there was nothing. Sighing, I replaced all the carrots except for one. All this was making me hungry, but I would still have to eat it on the way home. Carrots are too crunchy to eat without making a sound.

I glanced at Casper, who shook his head sadly. We continued to search the room, looking in the flowerpots, under the king's bed, even in the cracks on the walls, but the key was nowhere to be found. Eventually we had to give in and leave the tower.

"I can't believe we didn't find it," Casper mumbled. "Where else could it be?"

"Beats me." I took a bite out of my carrot.

Casper stared at me. "Where did you get that?"

"I got it from that big chest in the king's room." I took another bite. "I was hun- ow!"

"What?"

"I just bit something."

"Yes, Steve. That would be a carrot."

"No, I mean something hard." I peered closely at the carrot. Something inside it was shining in the moonlight. I took hold of it with my finger and thumb and pulled it out, lifted it up to the light, and stared at it.

"What's that?" Casper stared too. "Wait a second... is that...?" He snatched the object from my hand.

"Hey! Give it back!"

"Steve, you're amazing!"

"Yes, I know!" I paused. "Wait, what?"

"It's a key!"

"You mean... the key to the...?"

"Yes! Quickly, we have to go back!"

As quietly as we could, the two of us dashed back inside the tower. We knew we would have to be quick; dawn would break any minute.

"Here." Casper lifted the seat to the throne. In his excitement I think he had forgotten not to speak. "Hurry."

I took hold of the padlock with one hand and slipped the key inside with the other. A quick twist and the padlock came away from the chains, but not without making a slight rattling sound.

"Shh!"

"I know, I know!"

"No, I think I heard something! Shh!"

I listened closely. He was right; there were sounds coming from upstairs. Maybe the king was just talking in his sleep, or maybe he was getting out of bed. I peered out the window. The sun was rising, and it was rising fast.

"Hurry up!"

I shook the chest free of the chains, not caring about the noise anymore. Casper didn't seem to have any objection. I flipped the chest lid open to find a tattered piece of paper with some doodles on it.

"Who's down there?!" boomed a voice from upstairs.

Casper and I exchanged worried glances. We had to get out.

"Run!" I hissed.

We ran as fast as we could, out the tower, past the blacksmith, past the well, past the library, and back into my little hut, slamming the door behind us.

"We have to go," I said, grabbing my backpack. "Now!"

Thunder started barking again.

"Where to?"

"I don't know! Away from here!"

"The king's going to send all of his guards after us. He'll have us executed!"

"You worry too much." I grinned. "Now let's go!"

So we ran. We ran far away from the village until it was way out of sight. We didn't look back. We couldn't. We knew they were coming for us. There was no time to lose. We had to find the underground chamber. We had to find the golden carrot.


	7. In a Beacon of Emerald

CHAPTER 7 - In a Beacon of Emerald

"We've... come... so far," I panted, sitting down on a tree stump. "Maybe... we should... stop... for now."

"According to the map," said Casper, "we should be there soon." He rolled up the map and tapped me lightly on the head with it. "Come on, Steve."

"Can't we rest for five minutes?"

"And let the king catch up to us? No way."

I guess he had a point. Sighing, I lifted myself off the tree stump and trailed after Casper. My backpack felt like it had a blue whale stuffed inside, making my shoulders ache horribly.

"We're past the halfway point, right?" I groaned.

"Of course."

"Thank goodness..."

We wandered through a sunny, grassy forest. I insisted we come this way. It was better than Casper's choice of a mountain that extended high into the clouds. Some shortcut.

Unsurprisingly, Thunder was still bounding with energy, barking at us. I guessed it was dog language for 'Hurry up, Steve!'. Sometimes I wonder where dogs get all their energy from. Maybe it's something in their food?

I was still wondering about it when I tripped and fell flat on the face. Luckily there wasn't anything unpleasant hiding in the grass.

"Steve!"

I looked up. Casper was peering down at me, holding out his hand. I took it gratefully and was promptly yanked to my feet.

"Sorry, Casper."

"It's alright. What did you trip on, anyway?"

He went down on his knees and inspected the grass where I had tripped. I just stood there watching him, confused, wondering why he was so curious as to what I tripped on.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"According to the map," he responded, "the chamber should be..."

Click.

"Aha." Casper lifted up a large, square patch of grass as if it were a trap door. "Come over here, Steve."

I did as I was told. It turned out that it _was _a trap door, disguised by all the grass growing on top of it. A dark staircase was hiding underneath it.

"Nice, Casper. Is this the way to the chamber?"

"It must be. And you must have tripped on the hook that opens the door." He glanced at my backpack. "Would you happen to have any torches in there?"

"Yeah, a few." I rummaged around in my backpack and pulled out a couple of unlit torches and some flint and steel. "Here, hold these a sec." I passed both the torches to Casper while I furiously rubbed the flint against the steel to light them. The sudden _whoosh _of the flames startled us both. He passed one of the torches back to me, and we began our descent into the chamber.

None of us said a word on the way down, not even Thunder. We had to listen closely, in case the king was already down there. After what seemed like hours of climbing down the spiraling staircase, we found a small room. Nobody else was there. The walls, floor and ceiling were made of obsidian. The room was dimly lit and had a strange, earthy smell. Two torches lit the chamber on each side of a small glass case.

An empty glass case.

"The carrot!" Casper gasped. "It's gone! The king must have taken it!"

"Oh great," I said sarcastically. "I have a feeling we don't have long left before world domination."

"I have a feeling you're right. Quickly, Steve. Is there anything here that could point us in the king's direction?"

"What about that note on the wall?"

"What note?"

"That." I pointed to a tattered piece of paper on the wall. It read:

'La zanahoria de oro  
La zanahoria de oro  
Un radiante belleza  
Un sol brillando  
El poder de la zanahoria  
El poder de la zanahoria  
Es más que la riqueza  
Es más de la fama  
He aquí la zanahoria  
He aquí la zanahoria  
En un becaon de esmeralda  
Para las profundidades del abismo  
El mundo va a caer  
Dé rienda suelta a la potencia  
De la zanahoria de oro  
La zanahoria de oro'

"Is that Latin?" I wondered.

"Of course not," Casper scolded. "It's Spanish."

"What does it say?"

Casper carefully removed the note from the wall. "My Spanish is a little rusty."

"Try, Casper!"

"Don't rush me!" Casper gazed at the note intently. I waited. Then, suddenly, a look of shock spread across his face.

"What is it?"

"Steve. Listen to this. The note says:

The golden carrot  
The golden carrot  
A radiant beauty  
A shimmering sun  
The carrot's power  
The carrot's power  
Is more than wealth  
Is more than fame  
Behold the carrot  
Behold the carrot  
In a beacon of emerald  
To the depths of the nether  
The world will fall  
Unleash the power  
Of the golden carrot  
The golden carrot."

"Th-The depths of the nether?!" I cried. "Are you sure you translated that right?! You did say your Spanish is rusty."

"No, that's what is says, I'm sure of it. What I want to know is what the rest of it means. Particularly the beacon of emerald."

"Read that bit again."

"Behold the carrot, behold the carrot, in a beacon of emerald-"

"Maybe that's what brings out the carrot's power?"

"Hmm. I think you may be right. But where would we find a beacon of emerald?"

I shrugged. "Beats me."

"I wish you'd stop saying that."

"I wish you'd stop being so grumpy."

Casper glared at me. "We don't have long, Steve. The king has the carrot and he's likely taking it to this 'beacon of emerald' as we speak!"

"Well, maybe Thunder could track the king?"

"How?"

I reached into my backpack and pulled out the porkchop I was supposed to eat for dinner the first night. "Here, boy. No, don't eat it!" I struggled to free the porkchop from Thunder's grasp. When I finally managed to tear from his jaw, there was a huge chunk missing and it was slimy with dog slobber.

Casper smirked. "Smooth move."

"Oh, shut it."

Sniff. Sniff.

"Hm? What's he doing?" Casper asked me.

I glanced at Thunder. He was heading back up the staircase, his nose pressed to the ground.

"Th-Thunder! Wait for us!"

Leaving the half eaten meat behind, Casper and I chased Thunder back up the staircase, into the open world, weaving through the trees. We had no idea where we were going, but he seemed to be leading us back the way we came.

"Where is he taking us?!" Casper yelled, out of breath trying to keep up with Thunder.

"I don't know!"

Then, suddenly, Thunder stopped dead in his tracks, his ears pricking up. I knew my dog well. He could hear something. I put my hand to my ear and listened.

I could hear it. What was it? The wind? An animal? Maybe a plane?

...No. Muttering. I listened closer.

"Steve? Why are you-"

"Shh! Don't you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"Listen!"

We waited, in complete silence.

"...poder de la zanahoria... más que la riqueza..."

"Isn't that...?" Casper trailed off.

"Isn't that what?"

"Quickly, Steve." He grabbed hold of my wrist and started dragging me towards the voice. "We have to hurry!"

"What is it?!"

"It's the king! That muttering you heard, it's the poem from the chamber!"

As we ran closer and closer, feet pounding on the grass below, the voice became clearer.

"El mundo va a caer... dé rienda suelta a la potencia!"

When the voice became crystal clear, Casper suddenly ducked down into a bush, pulling me with him.

"Ouch!"

"Shh! Do you see him?"

"See who?" I peered through the branches.

"The king, of course! There he is, do you see him?"

Through the leaves I could just about see a small pink blur. "Yeah, I see him."

"Get your weapon ready, Steve." Casper pulled out his sword. "I can see guards too."

"What's the plan?" I asked, retrieving my trusty iron sword from my backpack.

"We attack."

"Is... is that it?"

"We also have to find the carrot."

"Right. And then what?"

All of a sudden, before Casper could answer, a loud, echoing _whoosh _blew through the woods. A beam of blinding green light shot into the sky, straight into the noon sun. This was it. The beacon of emerald.

It was now or never.


	8. Into the Nether

CHAPTER 8 - Into the Nether

"Stop right there, Porkchop!"

Casper and I dashed through the bushes into the open field, clutching our swords. Unfortunately, so were all of the king's guards. They all stood next to the bright green beacon that sat atop a pillar of emerald, startled by our sudden entrance.

Tocino approached us, chucking to himself. "Ah, Steve. What a pleasant surprise! I'm so glad you could join us for the world's demise."

I gripped my sword tighter. "What do you mean?" Maybe I could get him to show me the carrot if I played dumb.

"In a beacon of emerald," he said, "the world will fall. The prophecy says so."

"Th-That's not the prophecy!" I cried. Thunder growled in agreement.

"Steve," said Casper. "The note. Remember?"

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I tried to think of something, anything, that could turn this around.

"The prophecy must say something about a brave hero, right?"

"I'm afraid not," Tocino laughed. "Face it, Steve. You can't change what's set in stone."

"I can and I will!" I yelled, swinging my sword into Porkchop. He ducked his head just in time.

"Temper, temper." He shook his head, grinning. Then he turned to Casper. "And you. What do you think you're doing here?"

"I won't let you get away with killing Fliss," was his icy response.

"Felicity payed the price for her crimes. Perhaps she will think twice before eavesdropping next time." He paused, smirking. "Oh, I'm sorry. She can't, can she? Because she's dead. What a shame, what a shame."

Casper let out a cry of anguish and thrust his sword down into Porkchop's head. Well, he tried, but the king dodged out of the way at the last second. Casper's sword ended up impaled in the ground. He tried to pull it out, but it was firmly stuck.

"Nngh...!" He tried again, gritting his teeth. "It won't... come out! Steve... help!"

Snap.

The hilt of the sword came away in Casper's hands. He stared at it, shocked. The blade was still deep in the grassy earth. I heard sniggering from some of the guards.

"Smooth move," I said, copying what Casper had said to me earlier. It was the perfect moment, I had to say it. Casper looked like he wanted to hurl the sword hilt in my face. And maybe the stuck blade too.

"How unsurprising," said Porkchop. "You never were the brightest button, were you, Casper?" He turned to the guards that were gathered around the beacon. "Guards! Get rid of these nuisances once and for all!"

Straight away, about ten Carrot Tunics came charging towards us waving iron swords, yelling battle cries. We had to act fast.

"Casper.

"What?"

I handed him my sword. "Take it. You're a better swordsman than I am."

Casper took the sword before I had even finished my sentence and dashed into the stampede of guards. Three of them ran past him, coming for me instead. Panicking, I reached behind me and pulled my iron pickaxe out of my backpack. It wasn't very effective in battle but it would have to do.

As three sharp iron blades flew towards me I swung my pickaxe into them repeatedly, making a loud _clang _with every hit. Thunder started barking and biting the guards' ankles, but they barely took any notice. I tried to knock the swords out of their hands, but they seemed to have a grip of steel. I was so focused on fending them off I didn't notice that one had suddenly disappeared.

I felt a burning stab of pain in my back. I pulled away, sliding the sword out of the gaping wound, and ran. As I tried to escape my vision went hazy, my head started swimming. I felt myself sinking to the ground. I tried to call for help but the only sound I could make was an echoing scream. The world dissolved before my eyes until I was all alone, cold, floating in a dark void. I was losing my grip on the world. I was fading away, further and further...

-x-

My eyes flicked open. I was lying on the cold hard ground, staring up at a bleak red sky, not a cloud in sight. And for some reason, I felt like I was sitting in an oven. I sat up, rose to my feet, and examined my surroundings. Waterfalls of lava poured from the sky and were the only things lighting this place up. Apart from lava bubbling and fire flickering, there was silence. Was this... the nether?

"Hello...?" I called. My voice echoed through the fiery shadows. "Is anybody there? Thunder? Casper?"

I waited. There was no answer.

Suddenly, I heard a shrill shriek in the distance. I froze, waiting for something to happen. In the corner of my eye I saw something large and red flying towards me. I had just enough time to figure out what it was and leap out of harms way.

BANG.

The fireball crashed into the ground behind me, sending flaming pieces of netherrack soaring in all directions. There was another cry and a whoosh. I lifted my pickaxe and whacked the second fireball straight back at whoever launched it. I heard a scream, and then a gigantic white creature with tentacles loomed into view, watching me with its blood red eyes. I jumped to my feet and ran. The creature gave another shriek and shot a third fireball. I swing my pickaxe into it again, sending it flying back to the monster and this time, it died. I saw a small white speck fall to the ground with a _clink_. I approached it, picked it up and examined it closely. It was tear shaped and smooth, but I had no idea what it was. I decided to keep it, as a symbol of victory against the giant floating creature, and put it in my backpack.

_I guess I'm not alone after all_, I thought, _but surely I can't be the only human here?_

"Hey! Is anyone out there?!"

No response. I tried again.

"Hello?! Anyone?!"

...Silence. I started to panic.

_This can't be happening. This has to be a nightmare. Yeah, that's right. This whole thing is a nightmare. There's no King Tocino, no Emerald Village, no golden ca-_

"Steve!"

I gasped. A voice was calling me.

"Hello?! Who's there?!"

"...Steve!"

I recognized that voice. It wasn't Casper. It was... a girl.

_But... that's not possible... she's dead!_

"Steve, please help me!"

"Hold on!" I cried, clambering over the netherrack. "I'm coming for you, Fliss!"


End file.
